We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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