i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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