her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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