I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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