You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize