I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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