That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Damn victory sex feels great
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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