I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize