It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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