one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
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i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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