im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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