onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize