But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
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Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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