Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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