I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize