PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
even my farts smell like vagina
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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