i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize