Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Pooping to opera.
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