i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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