By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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