my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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