he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize