By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize