so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize