my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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