Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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