I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize