I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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