We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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