I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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