Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize