I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize