the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
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I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
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Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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