We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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