All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize