You work out of a Hotel?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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