This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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