all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize