So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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