ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize