So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize