I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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