oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
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So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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I can't turn off my feet"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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