bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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