Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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