So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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