Dual....:-)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize