you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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