I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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