i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize