Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize