i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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