I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
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He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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